


mutual knowledge hurt nonetheless

by sugary_shot



Category: B-PROJECT 鼓動＊アンビシャス | B-PROJECT: Kodou Ambitious, ツキウタ。 | Tsukiuta.
Genre: Gen, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-15
Updated: 2020-09-15
Packaged: 2021-03-07 00:27:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 440
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26477962
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sugary_shot/pseuds/sugary_shot
Summary: "Wouldn't it be nice if we weren't us?"TomoShun
Relationships: Kitakado Tomohisa/Shimotsuki Shun
Kudos: 4





	mutual knowledge hurt nonetheless

**Author's Note:**

  * For [initiumslave](https://archiveofourown.org/users/initiumslave/gifts).



> Happy happy birthday to my lovely wife! I don't write much TomoShun but I hope this makes up for the lack of content! I hope you have a lovely, fantastic birthday and all the days after because you deserve the best! Once again, happy birthday and I love you!

"Wouldn't it be nice if we weren't us?"

I say and you turn around to look at me, eyes curious and perhaps, a little concerned. My shoulders lose the weight as you come closer, and it disappears completely the moment the tips of your fingers touch my cheek. 

"Why so?" You ask, even though you know the answer very, very well. Those eyes that seem to hold all the answers in this world lock with mine and perhaps, there was a hint of sadness sprinkled in the reflection of me. "Could you tell me, Tomo?"

How could I put these into words, I wanted to ask. How could I when you are in front of me, when you are aware of this yourself, when you should simply agree with this mindless statement of mine? 

What could I even say? 

That we would've gotten along regardless of the issues we would've faced? 

That the wheel of fate will surely bring us together even in another life? 

That the responsibilities the two of us hold are too much to bear alone and yet even when we are together, we are alone? 

Instead I look away, shaking my head as I raise my own hand to put yours away. "You know what I mean." The hurt in your eyes silenced me and yet you scrape all of that away in a second and replace it with a smile and a nod. 

Smile. Nod. Smile. Nod. Smile. Nod. 

Because that's what we've learned to do. 

Smile even when nothing is worth smiling about. Nod even when it's not something we would accept. Smile even when "soon" is an empty promise and nod even when we know it's a lie and you will not come back to me. 

"Tomo." I feel both of your hands on my cheeks, pressing them, and pulling me close so our foreheads touch, so our gaze never leave each other, so we breathe as one just like before. 

Just like before. 

Before? 

"Tomo," you called, snapping me out of my trance, "every second I've spent with you is worth more than every second of the pain of losing you."

* * *

  
"-mo, Tomo!"

I open my eyes and meet sky blue, is that hate in your eyes? 

"Are you alright?" Kazu asks, and for once I wish to say no. I'm not alright. How could I be when I can no longer remember your face or hear your voice or touch your hand, to the pitiful point where we could only ever meet each other in our dreams? 

And yet I smile. 

And yet I nod. 

And yet I lie. 

"Of course."


End file.
